Baseball Game
An English teacher, troubled by the unwillingness of boys in her class to take any interest in composition, attempted to arouse them by asking for a description of a baseball game. It was a fortunate idea for most of the boys were eager to tell what they knew about the sport. Only one lanky fellow Continue Reading ...
Kissed Wrongly
A drunk walks into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her and kisses her. She jumps up and slaps him hard. He immediately apologizes and explains, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why Continue Reading ...
Stole my Car
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator,” he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the sam Continue Reading ...
Affluent Admirals
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, ‘Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons. Continue Reading ...
Harmful Food
A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none o Continue Reading ...
Suffering from Fatigue
Worried patient: ‘Doctor, I’m very worried. I’m still suffering from exhaustion and fatigue when I come home from work every evening.’ Doctor: ‘Oh, that’s nothing to worry about. Just have a few drinks before your dinner – that will soon wake you up.’ Continue Reading ...
New Army Colonel
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, ‘Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afte Continue Reading ...
Old age Divorce
A 98 year old man and a 95 year old woman went to a lawyer to get a divorce.”How long have you been married?” he asked. “75 rough and rocky years,” they said. “Then, why have you waited so long to file for divorce?” They replied, “We had to wait for the kids Continue Reading ...
Military lines
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous. The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. A “good” landing is one from which y Continue Reading ...
Remove a curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you Continue Reading ...