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I wonder how the web would be going when we gorw old? will there be any Facebooks still around!
Archive for January, 2009
A reindeer walked into a pub, strolled up to the bar and ordered a pint of lager.
Completely unphased, the barman poured out the lager and passed it to the reindeer, who handed over a ten pound note.
As he handed over the change of a few coins, the barman said “I have to say, you’re first reindeer I’ve seen in here.”
The reindeer studied the change very carefully and said. “Tell you what sunshine, as these prices I’m also the last reindeer you’re going to see in here.”
A student is sitting at an astronomy lecture in college, when the professor mentions,
“In about 15 billion years, the sun will burn out and all life on earth will cease to exist.”
“Excuse me, professor, did you say 5 billion years or 15 billion?”
“15 billion.”
“whew, thanks, because I was really getting worried.”
THE MONITOR confirmed cardiac arrest as an elderly
man suddenly lost consciousness. After about 20 seconds of
resuscitation, he came to. Explaining to him that his heart had
momentarily stopped, I asked if he remembered anything unusual
during that time.
“I saw a bright light,” he said, “and in front of me
a man dressed in white.”
Zeroing in on this near-death impression, I inquired
if he could describe the figure.
“Sure, doctor,” he replied. “It was you.
Tags : Death, Doctor, Experience
It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.
“Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?”
” I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early.” replied the man in the dock.
“That doesn’t seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by ‘very early?
“Well, your Honour.” said the defendant, “It was before the shop was open.”
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, “I’m here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything.”
There was a brief pause, and hen the puzzled lawyer asked, “How do you start a flood?”
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“Yes, Sir,” the new employee replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
Tags : jungle bells, mary christmas
