Joe spent the evening tossing down a number of beers at the local bar. It was after 11 o’clock when he finally staggered out into the cold and rainy night in an attempt to find his way home. With the weather as bad as it was, he soon became lost, and found himself wandering through the town cemetery.
He slipped while walking and fell headlong into a freshly dug grave. In his condition, the rain and mud proved too much to handle, and he couldn’t manage to climb out.
“Help!” he cried out. “Help! I’m so cold!”
A little while later, another overindulged inebriant left the bar. As luck would have it, the second man was nearby when he heard Joe cry. “Help, I’m so cold!” Joe continued to call.
The other man staggered in the direction of the voice. It got louder and louder as he neared the cemetery. “Help! I’m cold! Help! I’m cold!”
The second man followed the voice and approached the grave. As he peered over the side, Joe looked up and yelled one more time, “Help! I’m cold!”
“Of course you’re cold, replied the second drunk, peering down.
“You’ve kicked off all your dirt
Archive for the ‘Bar Jokes’ Category
A drunk walks into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her and kisses her. She jumps up and slaps him hard.
He immediately apologizes and explains, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screams.
“Funny,” he mutters, “you sound exactly like her also.
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator,” he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind,” he said with a hiccup, “I got in the back seat by mistake.”
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy
asking what time the bar opens.
“It opens at noon” answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy,
sounding even drunker.
“What time does the bar open?” he asks.
“Same time as before… Noon.” replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered “Whatjoo
shay the bar opins at?”
The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t
wait, I can have room service send something up to you.”
“No… I don’t wanna git in… Ah wanna git OUT!!
Tags : bar