Funny Clean Jokes

A guy blows a stop sign and gets caught by a policeman.
Cop says, “License and registration please.”
Guy says, “What for?”
Cop says, “You didn\’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”
Guy says,”I slowed down, and no one was coming.”
Cop says,”You still didn\’t come to a complete stop, license and registration, please.”
Guy says, “What\’s the difference?”
Cop says, “The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop. License and registration, PLEASE!”
Guy says, “If you can show me the difference between slow down and stop, I\’ll give you my license and registration.”
Cop says, “Exit your vehicle sir.”

At this point, the cop takes out his Billy club and starts beating the daylights out of the guy and says, “Do you want me to slow down or stop?”

Tags: Police Jokes by maxy
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A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on bullevard” and scratchs out his spelling error. “Head on bouelevard” Nope, doesn’t look right - scratch scratch. “Head on boolevard…” dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. “Head on curb.”

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In a traffic court of a large city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time. A wild gleam came into the judge’s eye.

“You’re a schoolteacher, eh?” he said. “Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I’ve waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write ‘I went through a red light’ 500 times!”

Tags: Police Jokes by maxy
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A Mexican guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer.
“Is there a problem officer?”
“No problem at all , I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you $1,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with that money?”
He thought for a minute and said, ” Well, I guess I’ll go get that driver’s license,”
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, ” Oh don’t pay attention to him. He’s smart a-s-s when he’s drunk.”
The guy from the back seat said,” I told you guys, we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said,”Are we over the border yet?”

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