We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They
don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill.
I think we can. All the general has to do is
walk over to the women and say, “You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.”
In the hospital, where their family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
‘I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,’ he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
‘The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.’
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, ‘Well, how much does a brain cost?’
The doctor quickly responded, ‘$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.’
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,
‘Why is the male brain so much more?’
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, ‘It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.’
A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around, spots a
beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very
embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her
little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t popup right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, ‘Good day Madam. How may we help you today’
Very uncomfortable, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little “accident”, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the
price of this lovely bracelet
He answers, “Madam”, if you farted just looking at it, you’ re going to sh*t
when I tell you the price.