Funny Clean Jokes

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy
asking what time the bar opens.

“It opens at noon” answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy,
sounding even drunker.

“What time does the bar open?” he asks.

“Same time as before… Noon.” replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered “Whatjoo
shay the bar opins at?”

The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t
wait, I can have room service send something up to you.”

“No… I don’t wanna git in… Ah wanna git OUT!!

Tags: Bar Jokes by maxy
No Comments »

George walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, George started to leave.
“S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what George had done, “what was that all about?”
“Nothin’, said George, “my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!”

Tags: Marriage Jokes by maxy
No Comments »

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese”.

“Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”

The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

Tags: Uncategorized by maxy
No Comments »