A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator,” he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind,” he said with a hiccup, “I got in the back seat by mistake.”
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times
A man is taking his new car out for a spin on the town. While sitting patiently for a red light to change, an old man on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the car and says, “That is a nice car, son. Can I take a look inside?”
“Sure” replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, alright!”
Just then the light changes. The guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. So he floors it and takes off. A few seconds later, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that’s quickly getting closer!
Whoooooooshhhhhhh kablaaaaammm!
It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The guy jumps out, and finds none other than the old man and his moped, and both are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and says, “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man replies, “Yeah, unhook my braces from your side-view mirror!