As an old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him,
“Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!”
“It’s not just one car,” said Herman, “It’s hundreds of them!”
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
“What does it look like?” she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, It’s square and it has your picture on it.”
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
“Here it is,” she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, ” Okay, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times
In a traffic court of a large city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time. A wild gleam came into the judge’s eye.
“You’re a schoolteacher, eh?” he said. “Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I’ve waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write ‘I went through a red light’ 500 times!”
A Mexican guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer.
“Is there a problem officer?”
“No problem at all , I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you $1,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with that money?”
He thought for a minute and said, ” Well, I guess I’ll go get that driver’s license,”
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, ” Oh don’t pay attention to him. He’s smart a-s-s when he’s drunk.”
The guy from the back seat said,” I told you guys, we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said,”Are we over the border yet?”