Kissed Wrongly
A drunk walks into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her and kisses her. She jumps up and slaps him hard.
He immediately apologizes and explains, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screams.
“Funny,” he mutters, “you sound exactly like her also.