For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.

Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”

And the boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?

Tags : flight, son

An educated man was on a flight, beside him was a blonde
the blonde looks over and sees that the man was busy with two laptops and 3 mobile phones.
so the blonde leans over and says “boy, you really must be smart with all those gadgets”
the man answers “yes i am, i own one of the biggest company in the world”

so the man, feeling a bit superior challenges the blonde and says “lets play a game, i ask a question if you cant answer it ill give you $20 then you ask a question if i cant answer it ill give you $100″ the blonde agrees.

the man asked “what is the 3rd planet in our solar system?”
the blonde thinks hard for a couple of minutes and handes over $20
the says “ok its my turn, what do you call a rock with feathers, lives on top of mount everest and has five eyes”
the man pauses and thinks very hard, he logs on to the internet with his two laptops to find the answer, he then calls with his 3 mobile phones and ask’s his scientist’s for the answer then after 3 hours he hands over a crisp $100 bill and he asks the blonde “so whats the answer?” the blonde hands him $20

Tags : flight, game, phone

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class
gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The
flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy
and that she will have to go and sit in the back. The blonde
replies “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Melbourne and
I’m staying right here!”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some
blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and
won’t move back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde
and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she
is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to leave
and return to her original seat. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde,
I’m beautiful, I’m going to Melbourne and I’m staying right here!”

Exasperated the copilot tells the pilot that it was no use and
that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to
arrest this blonde woman that won’t listen to reason. The pilot
says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a
blonde, and I speak blonde!” He goes back to the blonde, whispers
in her ear, and she says “Oh, I’m sorry – I had no idea” gets up
and moves back to her seat in the economy section. The flight
attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said to
make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied “I told her First Class isn’t going to Melbourne”

Tags : blond, flight

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, ‘Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.’

After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, ‘Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges.’

After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, ‘ Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.

Tags : Admiral, flight, Marine, Navy