Organic Vegetables
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” “The produce guy looke Continue Reading ...
Good and Bad news Again!
A bloke’s wife went missing while holidaying on the Australian coast. He spent a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there was a knock at the door and he was confronted by a couple of pretty miserable policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sa Continue Reading ...
Hearing Problems
A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand 15 feet behind her and ask her a question, Continue Reading ...
Wrong Way
As an old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!” “It’s not just one car,” sai Continue Reading ...
Kissed Wrongly
A drunk walks into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her and kisses her. She jumps up and slaps him hard. He immediately apologizes and explains, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why y Continue Reading ...
Remove a curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you Continue Reading ...
Do you want Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is Continue Reading ...
Olives
George walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, George started to leave. “S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what George had done, &# Continue Reading ...
Kiss on the cheek
A married couple was in a terrible accident where d man’s face was severely burned. The doctor said that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body as he was too skinny. so his wife decided to donate some of her own skin as her tissue was a perfect match. However the only skin on her bod Continue Reading ...